well, my self-consciousness is telling me that i'm uninteresting, which is why i haven't yet recieved any comments or any followers as of yet. my calm and rational side explains that it's only the second day into my blog and people probably haven't stumbled upon it. i also remind myself that i'm not writing for anyone but me! :)

well pup and i had an argument two nights ago because i hadn't heard from him all night and got worried (we don't reside together). it's the reason i started this blog to begin with. i needed an outlet in which to "empty" everything, if you will. now i realize that this is a pretty cool way to get me back into the swing of writing (an absolute passion of mine) so i may eventually continue with my memoir. anyway, back to pup - today is better. everyday my anxiety about his relapsing is minimized. this is all until i find something else to worry about, of course! haha. one day at a time, man. have to keep reminding myself.

last night i gave a lead in our 12 step program... it's like a speech noting what my life was like, what happened, and what it's like today. i always love giving leads even though i still get nervous. i've been speaking for years in front of people (not about my alcoholism and addiction - but we'll get to that part of my life soon enough) but something iside of me still wriggles when i step into the "spotlight." it's a healthy feeling, i suppose. or so my sponsor tells me. it's very humbling, that's for sure... having to dish out info on what i was like when i was out there. so i figure within the next week i'll give a lead here on my blog so people get to know me. i'll start with my childhood and go from there... who's excited!?

till then all of you enjoy your weekend!