the beginning

i really dig this bloggin' stuff. although i haven't been on in a while, i believe that is what i enjoy about it... you only have to get on when you feel like it. no more people pleasing for me!

so, here we go with the beginning of my story.

Childhood - Ahh... who can say that they had an absolutely perfect, story-book, Ozzie & Harriet type of childhood? anyone that has is more than welcome to let me know what that was like. although i had amazing parents, a cool younger sister (who loved me dearly despite our differences), and a relatively solid upbringing... i was still different. any 12-steppers & medical miracles out there know what i'm talking about when i say "different." let's start from the beginning.

i was born in 1981 to a Romanian-American-West-Virginian (Scotch, Irish & Dutch) family all rolled into one household. imagine that, right? exciting, loving, & supportive to say the least. i was also born with a rare immune system disease that disabled me from fighting off infections. up until the age of 3 i was rather normal... nothing out of the ordinary. at the tender age of 3 1/2, my mother noticed me limping to the car after a day at preschool. normally i would have bounded over and told her of my day in descriptive detail. not that day. i'd had a sinus infection not long before that and apparently it traveled to my hip because my body couldn't fight off the infection. so the docs figured that wasn't normal and diagnosed me with a rare immune system disease. surgery was necessary and then we were off!

from 4 to about 9, i was in and out of the hospital with pneumonia (6 times in a row), chickenpox (having to be there nearly 3 months), and other infections and disorders. none of this proved to be encouraging for my anxious parents. my sister, being 3 years younger than me, stuck by my side and was always there to cheer me up with a picture she'd just colored, some candy she knew i'd enjoy, or just a hug when times got rough. my parents feared i wouldn't make it. many times i remember praying for the Lord to keep me safe until the doctors could find a cure.

at age 9, my prayers were answered. an experimental procedure only performed on animals was available to myself and another young girl with the same immune system disease. i remember signing the papers that would (or would not) save my life. i was completely putting my life in these doctors' hands. i was totally powerless and honestly, totally relieved that i didn't have to worry about it for a while. after the first procedure was performed on us, we waited. waited for our T-cell count to heighten. waited for another cold to surface and take us out. just waited. when we finally returned back to the hospital for a checkup not long after, we realized that although we weren't completely cured... we were somehow better. and so the medical miracles that became of us toured the world, recounting our experience. i, being 9 years old, was a celebrity... and totally angry about it. i would have loved to be known for something other than a disease that made me feel less than and inferior to my fellow peers. i would have loved to be a celebrity on TV or in a movie... not a medical marvel. eventually i learned to get used to the TV spots and interviews and actually became rather "cool" to some people at school. most of the friends i chose loved me for me, so i knew it wouldn't bother them. but others were cruel because that's just how some kids were.

at 13 and a few times thereafter, i tried a few stem cell procedures which didn't stick. painful and what i felt to be unnecessary at the time, i began to resent this immune system disease even more! little did i know that it would be this disease that would help me to accept the chronic, fatal disease i'd discover later on in life. even though i hated the treatments, i knew they were needed and felt completely grateful to be there to be the "guinea pig" for others in need. i loved helping others, even at a young age. who knew that this caring for others would turn into co-dependency! haha.

my drinking, drug use, and what have you didn't start until after i'd graduated from high school... but i figured i'd give a bit of background of who i was as a child. ther's so much more where this came from... but who needs a boring holiday?? :) we'll continue after we eat lots o' food. till then...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!